I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
