It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I love you.
Bad choice
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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