She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You've changed since you got that strap on
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize