I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
