Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
