Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Everyone says I win the strip club
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
