no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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