covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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