He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
