What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
