just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Sorry about my life...
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize