Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
