okay pat passed out under dana's car
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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