Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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