Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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