Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
