The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize