Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Please don't give away my fajitas
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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