Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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