I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
