there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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