I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
