I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
