I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
My cat gives me a boner
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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