playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
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Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
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Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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