you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
