3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
