Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
