anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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