I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
