At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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