Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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