she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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