this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
