he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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