i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Randomize
