No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
