'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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