Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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