i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
