This girl is more easily done than said...
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
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