Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
