tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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