did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
