I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
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