Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
barbara walters just said penis...
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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