I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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