Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Randomize
