and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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