oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
