My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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