i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
