even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
