Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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