it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
