That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
