am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
