I didn't shave. On purpose
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
