last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
