Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Randomize
