To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
