I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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