Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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