Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
then he tried to convert me to islam
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
